Editor’s Note.  Please note that this article was published on the first day of the fourth month of the year.  Treat accordingly.

With competition heating up for secure communications providers, including Hushmail, Wickr, SilentMail, Signal and others, the Dixie corporation announced its own foray into the crowded field.

The Fort James Company, which owns the iconic “Dixie” brand, announced the new product that consists of two paper cups, coated with wax, attached together with a taut string.  “It’s a whole new way to communicate” Fort James spokeswoman Ida Noe observed.  Among the advantages of the “Dixietalk”™ process are:

1.       Secure point-to-point voice communications.

2.       Identity management – with sender and receiver being located only feet apart

3.       Supports multi-factor authentication.

4.       Clarity and volume controls

5.       Better voice quality than iPhone

“Dixietalk is the ideal solution for those who seek secure point to point communications over relatively short distances,” said the Dixie spokesperson.   Verification is typically accomplished through a smile or handshake, although for more secure needs, users can demand the other party provide some sort of security “token.”    Call quality has been compared to that of other “corded” phones, and exceeds that of the S3 or the iPhone.

Shortly after the device was announced, notorious hacker Andrew “Weev” Auernheimer demonstrated that the device was vulnerable to a form of “man in the middle” attack.

“All you need is a pair of scissors, a string, and a couple of Dixie cups, and you’re in” the hacker announced.  Dixie denied the existence of the vulnerability, and noted that to accomplish the attack required “specialized knowledge” of the DixieCast system and equipment made only by Dixie.  Dixie CISO Cassandra Skyizfalling announced that the problem would be fixed in the next release. “We are working on a wireless version of the device,” she noted.

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